It's hard to celebrate
A birthday
That no longer
Exists
No birthday hugs
Or last minute
Panic buying
Expensive gifts
Despite decades
Of distance
From the sorry
Teenage mess
I'll never grow
Beyond that point
Of emotional
Distress
As years savage
Memories
Moments of clarity
Become few
Unlike the waves
Of Pain and loss
That form an
Orderly queue
So much unsaid
Too much regret
Constantly
Ripped apart
The unshakable
Weight of grief
Forever heavy
On the heart
An unheard
'Happy Birthday'
Bounced around
In space
Too much time
Lost
To truly see
Your face
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