Tuesday, 8 July 2025

Coniston Chillswim 2025

After Equinox24 last Sept and a recurring knee injury I decided to stop running and not sign up for anything daft. With a build in swim consistency I instead put my eggs in the Chillswim 5.25 mile Coniston Water swim basket. My furthest swim before the event was a 3.6 mile DNF at Brutal Events Extreme Double also in Sept. Its a huge step up in endurance for me particularly in a discipline I hate (apart from on event day itself). The event has a 6hr cut off and I secretly hoped to go sub 5hrs. 


I got through the preparation faff and sat on the bus to the start. U2's Bad was the earworm that would accompany me throughout the swim. Nervous chat in the queue made the time fly and in no time Ironman Angus was squeezing me into my wetsuit. As I approached the start I'd lost my nose clip and was still wearing my glasses! Thankfully volunteer Julie agreed to keep my glasses and get them back to me at the finish. The sun was scorching, not a whiff of wind and the lake was a balmy 19°c. In we went. A group of purple heads with 5.25 miles to swim after a quick pose for the photographer. 


No chill factor to get used to and I was into a relatively steady stroke quite quickly albeit with some adjustment required to breathe out through my nose which would normally be clipped. I'd been swimming for, I guessed, about 9hrs when I finally reached the first mile marker. The additional half a mile to get to the first refuel boat took, I guessed, another 4hrs. I'd had enough. It had taken forever to swim a mile and a half and I was so slow. My shoulders were feeling it, particularly my right and I'd convinced myself I couldn't do it. The thought of another 4 miles was soul destroying. Had I been offered a tow to shore by a support canoeist I might have taken it. That's where I'd gone wrong. Thinking of the whole event and a finish that's nowhere near being in sight. It needed breaking down.....as they all do. So I did. Half mile chunks but bloody hell were the half miles taking forever. 

The waves of swimmers that started after me surged past. That was unexpectedly demoralising. A few swimmers somehow managed to swim into me when overtaking. In a mass start triathlon you expect some argy bargy but not here. Not on wave starts. There's no excuse for a better, faster swimmer to bump into a slower swimmer when overtaking. At 2.5 miles I was treading water trying to tease out a pee that had threatened to appear for a while when I heard my name being shouted. From 2 waves back, so 40 mins behind me, Sally Hatton was whizzing by in skins!! How she picked me out l don't know but it gave me a massive boost as she waved and said I was doing great. 

Two things then happened. I finally peed and I resolved to get the swim done. Sally disappeared ahead within minutes, finally finishing 90 mins ahead of me, but the encouragement remained. I was gonna complete the swim no matter how long it took, how much it hurt, how damn bored I was and, unexpectedly, how bloody choppy the lake became. And choppy it did become after mile 3. I noticed because I was overwhelmed with a disorientated kinda washing machine induced light headedness and each breath was curtailed with a huge intake of water. The waves seemed to be coming across me and added a rotational bopping about. This needed managing but I was calm about it. I adapted my breathing to take in air faster when the opportunity arose and didn't panic if it didn't. I also tried to swim at the rhythm of the waves. To try and use them to my advantage. My distance awareness was rubbish and my watch massively over estimating distance swam. I ignored both and just kept going. 


When I finally passed the mile 4 marker, after nearly 3 days of swimming, I knew I would finish and it was now a case of managing it to the end. I knew I was looking for a giant rubber duck but a mile and a quarter is actually a long way to spot anything and the choppy waters made it harder to see ahead. Most swimmers still out there were to my right. I seemed to have carved a route through the centre for myself and I wasn't for changing now. 4 became 4.5 and eventually 4.5 became 5. Deviously the yellow 5 mile marker looked like a rubber duck from a choppy distance. In reality the rubber duck was waiting just another 400 metres ahead or 16 snowdome pool lengths. 


I swam this last bit well, or at least it felt like I did (ignore my watch stats) and I eventually beached my not insignificant bulk at the finish. I took took few moments to clear my dizziness from standing, grounded myself, struck a pose for the photographer and got out of the lake. 5.25 miles in 4hrs 45 mins, a medal, a hoodie and a whopping achievement. Sally and Bob greeted me at the finish and asked if I'd enjoyed it. The obvious answer is no. It was boring, hard, difficult, troublesome, boring, demoralising and boring. But, the real answer, both during and upon reflection is as whopping a yes as the achievement itself. Why? Because there's an odd joy, maybe pride, to overcoming a seemingly insurmountable challenge. There's a joy in the darkness if you can keep moving forward. There's a joy in the test. Either that or I'm just weird. It's not put me off. Windermere looks impossible so gotta be worth a go. Some new depths of darkness to weirdly enjoy. Maybe one day. 


Thanks to everyone for the support and sponsorship. You're getting me closer to my target of £1250 for Level Water and helping kids with disabilities access swimming lessons. If for no other reason, that makes it worthwhile. Last chance to sponsor me if you've been meaning to. Thanks again to everyone, to Julie for the glasses, Ironman Angus for squeezing me in, but particularly Sally for the coaching and Mich for the belief, love and inspiration. https://www.justgiving.com/page/sidswimsconiston



Wednesday, 5 February 2025

Big John

Big John


John Goldsmith

1943 - 2024


Big John 'cause he was older

Than Little John the cutter

Big John 'cause he was taller

Than almost every other




Big John by reputation

An industry took note

Big John in Postural Care

From the papers he wrote


Big John the family man

Deeply loved by all

Big John the head of the house

Liz might question that call



 

Big John the Dad

A rock to all his kids

Big John laid to rest

Forever sorely missed


Big John remembered

Fondly in our hearts

Big John the legend 

Indelible from the start

Tuesday, 6 August 2024

Perfect Tecks

 Perfect Tecks

Becks & Tim 5th August 2024


In this crazy world

Where opposites attract

A small note unfolds

To seal a perfect pact




Passed around a class

The teacher reads out loud

A new beginning

To shift away the clouds


Ditching the glow worms

A tomboy in the past

Strong in the tackle

And really bloody fast


Garden and a book

A little more sedate

Loves the Lillywhites

But don't steal from his plate




Handsome and pretty

Passionate from the start

Sealed on the first date 

Stolen chip stolen heart


Falling fast first kiss

The magic ' I love you'

Brave to say it first

Hoping it comes back too




Nice as apple pie

Have faith in what you see

Swiftly buttered toast

Perfection you and me


Date nights together

287 Lichfield Road

Cacciatora

Italian love mode


House swap comedy

It may be winter outside

Love the Sha La La

'Cause I'm Mr Brightside




Dancing with such joy

Surrounded by the light

Shifting winds of change

Together through the night



When we grow older

There at each others side

As a reminder

Our love's always alive 




The someone for me

You're my angel in flight

I don't deserve this

You are perfect tonight






Wednesday, 29 May 2024

Unbreakable

 Unbreakable

Helma 18th May 2024


Sometimes it takes a while

To find the perfect one

It's not always obvious

Where she's gonna come from


Life can throw a curveball

A path of fight or flight

You go the wrong direction

Before you see the light





You finished off my drink

And grabbed me by the hand

I dont care now I'm with you

All the bad things disband


A surprise for some folk

A questionable phase?

Batting for the other side

Navigating life's maze





Quizzed by the funny friends

Tell us your five year plan

Wanting lots of time away

Scissoring in the van


Bravely ditch convention

To finish the journey

Two lads a pug and Freddie (and Flash)

You're where you're s'posed to be


If opposites attract

One's gonna love the sound

I am the resurrection

The other's clutter bound


As doors bang through the house

Never slammed in anger

It's just not yet been sussed out

How to use the handle


The quirks are overlooked

Your undies in a pile

I see you every time

Oh my I like your style


A bit of Kenny G

Candles lit all the time

It's truly an obsession

My god I see you shine


Stealing quilts and snoring

I couldn't give a fuck

A bath a beer and dinner

You got me on the hook


While I was passing by

Oh wow - you stopped me dead

Even your need for tickles

Does not do-in my head





Surrounded by life's noise

Reading each others lips

I'd rather kiss 'em right back

Two hearts no longer ripped


What it all boils down to

It's what's just meant to be

And that is you make me feel

I'm loved by somebody


From when you took my hand

And finished off my drink

All the bad things disappeared

Our unbreakable link




Tuesday, 5 March 2024

Tamworth Castle Grounds Parkrun #16 Race Report

Marvels takeover at Tamworth Parkrun No.16. A few times a year we pick a parkrun, assemble the full Marvel squad and takeover the volunteering roles. We're a local running group that appreciate the work that goes into putting on a free timed Saturday morning run so it's nice to do a bit to help. 


It's an early start for the Marvel squad meet up. Important to warm up, push some weights, bit of cardio, yoga and a light breakfast to ensure we're ready to provide the professional level of marshalling expected and indeed demanded by the historically significant scaffolding clad Castle location. Grounds that once were the stage for middle England power battles, that witnessed armour clad warriors fight for their freedoms, that cushioned the feet of Kings and nobility were today, for an hour or so, the arena in which 246 Parkrunners would battle themselves, their anxieties, their insecurities, their niggles, their ailments and their procrastinations before emerging victorious from around the 2 lap 5km course. Like the battalions of the past, but armed with pom poms, bobble hats, signage and vocalzones, we take our positions and steel ourselves for the commitment ahead.


As Lord Tarquin of Tamworth said in 1478 on the eve of the now infamous Battle For The Path Of Roses Of Worshipment In The Shadow O Editha (or BFTPOROWITSOE for short or indeed Battle for Middle Entry as its now known), 

" Be steeled in your entrenchment, resist defeat with your life for here we lay your life down for that those who follow shall forever get baked goods with various meat fillingment from our Middle Entry ".


Enriched and inspired by the pre run briefing 246 of you lined up, 3 of you unknown, 230 adults including 1 ever present Tamworthian and 13 under 17's, took to the start line. Despite Parkrun having a start line from which you all start at the same time and despite the fact your finish position is recorded and despite the fact your finish time is recorded and despite the fact you cross a finish line please, please don't confuse this event with a race. It's not. It's more of an orderly gathering separated by the mesmerising rules of time and space itself. As the countdown to the off reaches its climax the quest for 5km completion on a non race basis begins. 246 of you jostling for pace and space as you simmer down into your flow.

The race that it isn't was won, sorry, I mean the person to achieve the finish in a place that could not be exceeded, was Arian Foroughandeh in a comfortably impressive 18:27 on his first Tamworth appearance. Closely followed in the place that can only be exceeded by one by Loughborough's finest Ben Atkins in a post Seville Marathon leg stretching 18:51 with Uvis Baltins securing the shorter of the spots on the imaginary podium with a suitably swift 19:00.


In a no less impressive 21:09 Ceri Davies topped the times in the female category with Beth Woodward following close behind with a swift 23.16 and Abigail Wilkes on the short spot with 24.22 and a PB.


Not all Tamworth youth are whizzing round on electric bikes in black tracksuits carrying small handbags. At Parkrun Josh Titley was an impressive 5th overall in a rapid 19:51 to lead the youthful charge. Oliver Salt followed in with a swift 23:07 and Theo Cook's 25:10 was particularly impressive based on legs that have yet to reach 10 years of age.


There were 67 of you with your feet up on Saturday evening basking in the glory and magnificence of a Tamuff PB.

Our heroes are not only borne out of rapid. We're not all flying feet, front foot running Seb Coe wannabees (think Laura Muir anyone under 40 years old.). Parkrun heroes include the 52 minute finishers determined to complete, the mate draggers running with a pal that needs extra encouragement on a Saturday morning, the finishers back out on course to support a family member to the finish, the first timers taking the first steps of change and everyone overcoming whatever they overcome to make it through.


The pics are provided by Lucie Brady Photography (look her up on Facebook), a Marvel in her own right who once said of running "I hate running with a passion so ingrained and heartfelt that I will never enjoy running or run further than 5km". Last year she nailed Manchester Half Marathon and this year, at a runclub session, was heard to say "I enjoyed that hill session!"

As marshals it's a privilege to encourage, direct, support and marvel at your awesome. If we drag a smile from your grimace, if we distract you from the agony, if we pop a spring into your step and encourage a turn of pace to the finish funnel then we're content that our job is done.

Steeled in your entrenchment and resisting defeat. 

Until the next time Tamworth. 

Big Thumbs.

Saturday, 2 September 2023

KWP Parkrun #440 Race Report


As hot as it was humid 267 of us lined up on the start line for KWP Parkrun number 440.

Everyone's prep for the 9am Saturday 5km is as individual as the run itself. We all, generally, fall into one of a few categories.

The Organised

Has usually washed and ironed their run kit at least 6 days before. Has the kit laid out in prep the night before. Alarm set for 6am to allow a fuel loaded breakfast enough time to settle pre run. Generally parked up and ready about 8am with plenty of time for a warm up and pre run poo.

The Reluctant

Has often been roped in the night before during one too many gins in Hogarths. Has secretly hoped everyone has forgotten by morning only to have those hopes dashed with the 'I am on the way, pick you up in 5 mins' text from the one pal the night before who stuck to orange juice.

The Incorporated

Often training for a marathon or an ultra and see Parkrun as a perfect intermittent run mid long run. Don't worry, they will tell you about it during the run. Strava entry later on will map the return run to Lichfield at a steady 9 mins/mile pace.

The First Timer

A sleepless night through nerves leads to an anxious morning of doubt. A 'should I or shouldn't I go' morning. They may have done this a few times before but this is the day when they take the plunge. Forcing themselves out of the door with their Skechers*, ill-fitting casual shorts and almost certainly chafe inducing t-shirt but with a determination to take the first step on their running journey.

*other non run specific trainers are available

The Unreliable

"I'll meet you at 8am in Fazeley to run down"

Followed by.

"I'm running late but I'll be there by ten past and we will still make it"

Followed by.

"Not gonna make it in time. You crack on and i'll see you at the start"

The Intoxicated

Was out with The Reluctant but struggled to know when to stop. Battles throughout the run to keep it down.

The Last Minute

Wakes up late only to lie in bed messing on their phone knowing they're already late, leaving it to the last minute to get up and put on kit they ran in yesterday, that hasn't been washed, no time to clean teeth, can't find buff, or keys, leaves 8 mins before 9am for a 10 min drive to KWP, jams car in space, wings a parking fine, realises they've forgotten their watch, swears and chases after the tail runners as they disappear through the bushes towards 'muddy wood'.

The Injured Return

Strapped, hobbling and with a story to tell. You'll often hear something along the lines of "yeah I’m just gonna take it steady near the back to test the knee/thigh/calf/ankle/back/toe/spleen (delete as appropriate)." Often you'll see a 22 mins finish time and continue to hate them forever.

The Pro

Springs out of bed as soon as alarm sounds, warms up muscles, eats a healthy power snack, pops on one ounce vest, high thigh shorts and trainers that improve performance by 0.008% and cost the equivalent to a 3 bed semi. Spring around field 20 mins before the off in a warmup dance last seen on BGT '17, before positioning themselves at the front awaiting the off. Unlikely to be seen again by any other runner, finishing first and immortalised in the race report for taking first place in the non-race race.

[Editor’s note – it’s still not a race, Sid)

This week the Pros amongst us were David, Charlie, Benjamin, Holly, Rachel and Harriet. Joseph and Holly leading the way for the youth of today.

9 of us were Unknown, 50 first timers and 23 or 8.164% of us got to lord it for the rest of the day secure in the knowledge that they had run the fastest Parkrun of their life!


At least 11,000 volunteers have got KWP to 440 runs. Without them the run doesn't happen. Some volunteers never have the urge to run but many of them would like the opportunity to run every now and then. The perfect scenario being a revolving door of volunteers to guarantee the event and to let everyone run. With the amount of runners we have we should all be volunteering about 4 times a year to ease the need for paracetamol during the week for the incumbent Race Director.

Today's volunteers that made it happen were Woodo, Beano, Gazza, Saz, Chewy, Magic, Dolph, Frencho, Griff, Hanno, Jubble, JD, BJ, Mr & Mrs J, M&M, Benjo, Oron, Pez, Pez, Renaldo, Deano and Strett!

Kind Regards

Sid

Tuesday, 23 May 2023

KWP Parkrun #427 Race Report

"The rain falls hard on this humdrum town" and didn't it just. The heavens opened on Parkrun eve as if to welcome Andy Rourke to audition at the pearly gates for a place in heavenly Indie history. For many of us the timing and rhythm of our angst ridden youth and the earworm that takes us back, with fondness, to our favourite ever pair of Pepe jeans.


Yesterday's rainfall gave way to a glorious sun drenched (is that an oxymoron?) morning. As runners gathered at the start the last few drops of moisture were losing their grip on the grass and save for a few muddier bits charged by the rain the course was pretty spot on.

As the first cars park up, KWP transforms and fills with busy runners. The early birds are first to appear. Arriving early enough to get a couple of warm up miles done around the park. The newbies are usually next to rock up often relieved that the £4.95 to park turns into £2 for Parkrun. The toilet runners next leaving just enough time for 'one more wee' before the off despite having had six since waking up an hour ago. Club colours steadily fill the field as runners buzz to the start like bees to a new queen. As the chatter amongst runners builds the 'last minuters' play 'out of order parking ticket machine' pinball as they hurriedly try to arrange their parking fine avoidance and get to the start line on time. 

There are of course the slightly late crew. Bashed on the bonce with the full cost of parking they're seen running from the car park and straight through the start line as they chase down the back of the pack that is already disappearing through the first line of trees. Last but by no means least the long runners will run through whenever they're ready as they include parkrun in their Edinburgh (insert appropriate marathon depending on time of year) prep. He won't be at Parkrun next week as he'll be on the road to Edinburgh to pop his marathon cherry for his belated 50th birthday present but today Neil 'The Stallion' Taylor * incorporated KWP into his last long run and hit a 2023 KWP PB.

* the nickname decision was lengthy and drawn out due to various representations to our lawyers.

Getting to the nitty gritty of the day Ben Witham saw off a Max Kent surge to finish first by just 4 seconds which would seem like an eternity compared to the 1 second that saw Howard Bush push Benjamin Musson off the podium. Bethan Padbury led from the off to finish 43 seconds ahead of Emma Koppe with Trudi Pike just a minute further back. There was a noticeable contingent of young runners clocking some impressive times. Alexander Haywood led the way and was only 14 seconds off the top 10 with an impressive PB run.

Big contingent from team Unknown saw 13 finishers between 45th and 251st.

29 volunteers made it all possible without whom you would all be resigned to a morning on the sofa in your pants eating poppadoms only able to dream of awesome. Instead, on this sunniest of sunny May days, you soaked up your vit D, got out, got moving, topped up your endorphins and turbo charged your body, mind and soul.

For the 427th time, KWP enabled 299 of you to run the lakes of which 47 dabbled for the first time and 40 of you blazed a trail to a new PB. Two Villans came away with milestones. Gav Clinton reached an impressive 250 just 410 shy of Charlie Aitkins appearance record. Tim Holmes clocking his 50th to match Pongo Waring's record for goals in a season. He was in good company with John Padbury, Amy Bywater and John Child. Hazel Thomas perfectly negotiated the tricky single required for her century. Will Rhodes & Nicola Lyndon got in on the action with volunteer milestones of 25 a piece.

A recent trial system of having a roving reporter on the course meant our man, Bill Waring (no relation) grabbed a few nuggets from a few of you happy to chat.

Gaz Jolly on being 2 mins off his PB: "heaven knows I'm miserable now"

Catching her breath Annie Mulvey on her nip and tuck but ultimately unsuccessful bid to catch Sheelagh Evans in 123rd: "Sheelagh take a Sheelagh take a bow"

Last word should really go to one of our winners, sorry leaders, I mean person that reached the finish token zone first but by no means in any kind of race other than within the confines of ones battle within oneself.

Bethany Padbury on being first female into the finish token zone: "William it was really nothing".

On the day we all celebrate Buster Rhymes' 51st birthday I think that's a neat wrap for Kingsbury Water Park Parkrun number 427. Until the next one. Sid.