Dear America.
We've an entwined history. Many common goals and dreams, battles and enemies. Over the past few years we've enjoyed a wonderfully friendly rivalry, pistols at dawn esque, whippy towels in the shower like, a competition born out of mutual respect with a hint of one-upmanship, a race where we're happy to help each other along the way but both knowing that when the finish line is in sight it's every man for himself, a friendly feud requiring the cooperation of nations, serious determination, ground breaking levels of negligence, energy sapping effort, lung busting pressure, limit stretching endeavour, boundless perseverance in the face of adversity, both nations hoping to be the best, to be the first to plant the flag, break the tape, scale the peak but with the unstated understanding we'll cheer the other over the line with a mutual respect, love and appreciation for having fired our best bolts and left everything out on the field of battle, having become truly spent, truly exhausted, safe in the knowledge we gave it our all.
There comes a time however when we have to stand back and concede defeat. We thought we'd snatched it, we had one hand on the World Championship (or exclusively America World Championship in Baseball or NFL), we thought we'd caught the extra time Hail Mary, sunk the 16 footer on the 18th Green, when we wheeled out Cameron, Corbyn, May and then played our super sub, our finisher Johnson we knew we had it won. Trump had sneaked America ahead and even Johnson was struggling to fuck things up quite as well as Trump until COVID19 came along. A game changer and Johnson came into his own, Cummings directing him with an artistry from the touchline. We dipped for the line, we'd properly fucked it up, the ruling elite finally gave up the mask and fronted us to say fuck you! Properly fuck you and we don't care, we don't care for your lives or your sacrifice and they laughed as they flipped us the bird.
The engraver sharpened his engraver thing about to etch us into history when Trump pulled out his Joker. His day glow cuprinol woodstain face made sure to smile for the photo finish as he pulled down his nations pants and spanked them to cross the line. The final nail in our coffin being the fuck you to his citizens, the fuck you we'll shoot you for protesting the slow televised deliberate murder of an incapacitated man, the fuck you we'll shoot you but we're not overly bothered about bringing the murderer to justice, the fuck you if you try and report it we'll shoot at you or arrest you, the fuck you you've upset me so I'll threaten and insult you, the ultimate fuck you while you die I'm getting 18 holes in.
Well played America. We thought we had it won with Johnson and Cummings and Co but you were stronger, fitter and ultimately wanted it more. Its probably time to bring this to a close. You won. You have our respect. Well played.
Always yours
Britain
