I would love to clarify
For us all to be clear
But it seems they've made it all up
As it spilled out from their rears
I don't think we can blame them
After all they're doing their best
No, not to protect the nation
But to comfortably feather their nest
In spite of all the confusion
And with a view to plot a way through
I'll have a stab at deciphering
The bullshit they've subjected us to
You can definitely go to the pub
Be indoors and without a mask
A stranger's COVID social history
You don't even have to ask
But if you're thinking outdoors is best
Slow down arranging a do
Particularly in Greater Manchester
Your family can't come to you
Currently they're saying
1 metre plus is fine
Unless you're in a hotspot
It's now a different design
Leicester's back to 2 metres
And everywhere is shut
A struggling economy
You can't nip to Pizza Hut
You can't get your 50% off
Because everywhere is closed
But in a struggling city
The choice is hard - meal or clothes
As for everywhere else
Its a bonus if you've the wedge
You can blow a week's food bill
Sunak will pick up the rest
Make sure that you mask up
At least while walking through
If you're worried about your liberty
Fuck off is what you should do
Its not an imposition
To briefly cover your face
Its a miniscule occurrence
To protect the human race
You can't go to a gig
The theatre's will close
It's something about gatherings
That's getting up their nose
But you can go to a beach
Sit with half a million others
As an added bonus
Dump your litter you lazy mothers
There's quite a list of fuck ups
To divert attention from
Jenrick, Gove & Whately
Truss and £150 million
They've stooped to using Farage
Sent the cunt out into the sea
Unfortunately he keeps making it back
Pointing his finger at the refugee
The media is complicit
In sensationalising their strife
Whilst we're a gullible nation
Not interested in saving a life
Apologies for my digression
It was guidance you were after
Let me get back to the point
While they're polishing my BAFTA
Wear a mask
Don't in a pub
Stay In
Go out
Meet up
But don't
Definitely
No large gatherings
Unless on a beach
Not in your garden
But OK in a park
Keep out of arms reach
Go to work
Sign In
Work from home
Mental health matters
Wear sun cream
Always carry your work phone
Two things have recently hit
The shitnail on the head
A picture of cookies highlighting
The reaction to refugee dead
The other an example
Of where we are today
Decisions made by compassionless twats
To maximise what advertisers pay
Social media accounts restricted
For pictures of nipples being tattooed
On breast cancer survivors
Apparently because they're lewd
With all this going on
BLM have we forgotten
We voted out to keep us white
The Talk shows society is rotten
It doesn't seem appropriate
To let them off scot free
Add Duncan Smith, Raab and Williamson
To the branch on the cunt tree
Spare a thought for our youth
Their futures reduced by a bot
Let's not forget reality
It's about how much money you've got
I hope that's helped clarify
The shit we're swimming through
We're shaped by our own conscience
And what we say and do
