I know you hoped to have seen the last
Of my random Lockdown ditties
And indeed you had
Then Matt was caught fondling titties
Not in itself a terrible thing
As long as they belong to your wife
Unfortunately in this instance
His dalliance will cause him strife
His tongue had slipped down Gina's throat
In contravention of Covid Rules
Another bastard politician
Taking us for fools
He was booted from his day job
Of securing money for his mate
If we never saw the smarmy git again
It would be a pleasant fate
For regular folk it's been harrowing
Restrictions becoming the norm
But for the political uber class
Well they've been partying until dawn
They haven't just broken all the rules
That they themselves put in place
They had a fucking knees up
And are now laughing in our face
When they're caught they offer
Profound apologies
Not because they broke the rules
But because the dirty little bastards got caught and they think that by offering up a crocodile teared sacrificial Allegra will hide the menagerie of criminality that festers in the anal cavity of our shit filled political hallways smeared with left over adulterous jizz leakage and caked in a layer of Columbia's finest marching powder smoked and mirrored by a complicit media whilst at EXACTLY the same time we are asked to shoulder an extortionately huge and crippling financial, psychological and emotional burden that few generations have been asked to shoulder before.
At a time when a boy is told
He has to stay outside
His mother the only one allowed in
To be at his dying brother's side
The invites were sent out
Keeping it low key
Only 100 of the fuckers allowed
To a sesh in the posh marquee
Don't think for a second it was limited
To the dates we know about
The 15th and the 20th May
Were just the start of the rout
They partied twice in November
But that was an aperitif
5 more in December
They need a good kick in the teeth
Fabricant has slithered onto the box
And justified the lot
Apparently they've had it hard
Nothing to see here, no rot
Often one of these ditties
Is written over time
And many different indiscretions
Can get lost in dubious rhyme
This lot though - unbelievable
Must be held to account
They deserve no less than stringing up*
None left for a recount
*this is not a call to violence, stringing up or even atomic wedgying of the aforementioned political uber class just in case anyone is so mixed up by everything that they may construe it as one.
Let's step away from politics
We're never gonna win
£300,000 to level a driveway
Someone's fuckin laffin
We can always turn to sport
Our idols to look up to
Unless one of them is Djokovic
Because he's a fucker as well
Either faked a PCR
To get round immigration control
Or spread COVID like a bastard
To maximise his bankroll
I shouldn't wish bad on anyone
But I hope in the first round
He breaks his million pound legs
His career buried in the ground
Don't even mention Formula One
There's no solace to be found there
A year of whitewashing dodgy regimes
Ended in despair
After however many races
The regulations went in the bin
The race ref played a joke
And made it 'next goal to win'
At least we have the Royals
On them we can depend
Queenie this year goes Platinum
A nation on the mend
But wait, hang on, what's that
It's not quite all right
One's mates with Ghislaine
And he's rumoured to like it tight
So much so he no longer sweats
Which is quite a length to go
To avoid the inevitable conclusion
When you're linked to a hung paedo
Integrity is everything
Until money is involved
Then everyone fucks everyone else
It will never be resolved
It's not all doom and gloom
But if everything is down to fate
There's no fucking hope whatsoever
Just look at The United States
