Saturday, 6 August 2016


In Body?
A bit. Plantar fasciitis in my left foot has resulted in my 11 week plan in preparation for Equinox become a 6 week plan. Instead of running 65 miles this week I have run once. 2 miles. It didn't hurt during the run but it did after. I've no option now other than to ignore it and train through it. Resting is toss and hasn't worked. New trainers from the big bear himself of Team Bear are a much better fit and will hopefully help to overcome the problem.

There is another spanner in the works. I have yet to get myself a new full time job. Instead I have two manual part time jobs and a claims consultancy role. This is proving difficult to balance a 3am - 8am shift, a 9am - 5pm shift and constant claims service. I will adjust to the shifts but I cannot see where I will fit in any meaningful training. There is also an issue of tiredness!

The Equinox plan is #AllOrNothing. In essence I only get sponsored if I run 100 morph miles at Equinox. At this stage and from a base of 2 miles with only 6 weeks to go, I would say that your money is, sadly, safe. You can make a sponsorship pledge if you want. You don't have to pay anything at this stage. You only part with your cash if I hit 100 miles.

In Spirit?
A bit. I previously alluded to how the initial positivity, the 'chase your dreams' attitude post redundancy slowly ebbs away the longer it takes to find a job. Each 'thank you but no thank you' takes its toll. Each failed interview increases the self doubt. Its a kick in the nuts when jobs you can do standing on your head you don't get an interview for and its a spirit breaker when you interview for your ideal job and fuck it up! I've no problem with hard work or physical work or unsociable working hours. The stress is financial. How do you pay the bills? How can you provide? What happens if you can't? Why should your family suffer due to your own failings? The mental stress far outweighs the physical.

In heart?
I no longer know. I don't give up. I'm still trying to get things sorted while doing whatever it takes to keep things together. There is an element of self loathing and with that comes an element of withdrawal. Fortunately I have great people around me and no lack of support and help.

Broken? Not yet. Able to run 100 miles? No way! Ready to give up? No!

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