KWP Parkrun #400 Race Report

As quick as a Government U-turn or a Braveman gaff the weekly phenomenon that is Parkrun returns with KWP celebrating a doozie of a milestone. The 400th running of KWP Parkrun marks a huge amount of blood, sweat, tears, twists, the odd trip, many splashes, stings and some vomits. Along the way 17,067 of us have run 5k around the lakes 127,619 times achieving 20,639 personal bests. There's been some super fast runs peaking at 15:01, some steadier walks and everything in between. We've had dog powered runs and fancy dress jeffing. Various routage - summer, winter, wet, dry, mozzies, single lap and the current double lapper. Always loads of support, laughs and friendly racing. 

There's been the odd negative incident but after 395,618.90 miles run the negatives could probably be counted on one hand. 'Swan man' and his inflexibility and 'Railway car rammer' with his huge sense of entitlement, the only couple that spring to mind. Of course, the mass of positives hugely outweigh the odd negative.

The magic of KWP Parkrun didn't happen by accident. Legend has it that much like Robert Catesby some 417 years earlier, Richard Hill devised a plot with a group of secretive accomplices to bring about a huge change in society. Unlike Catesby's doomed plot, Hill envisaged a positive change to our health, both mental and physical, and one that would see a weekly social gathering of people looking to improve themselves. Catesby's plot relied much more heavily on death, destruction, religious justification and separation and was fortunately foiled when Mr Fawkes himself was caught sleeping on the job by Sir Thomas Knyvett and Edmund Doubleday. Fawkes carried the can and has been atop our bonfires ever since. Hill, on the other hand, has quite rightly been celebrated in KWP folklore.

Topping today's run list was Chris Horton the Badger in a wonderfully Bottle Rocket like 18:24. Lauren Arnold running for Yeovil Town led the female charge with a Bombette of a 22:35. Catherine Wheelesque pace saw Alex Hall sprint his finish in as youngest finisher in 23:19 (Monsters Inc anybody?) whilst, with the ferocity of a Roman Candle, Nick Crees brought a regality to proceedings on behalf of Royal Sutton Coldfield Athletics Club with 3rd place and first junior in a rapid 19 mins on the snoz. This week's Rising Tails were Robert Rainsley in 57:09, whilst boshing his 150th Parkrun, and Sheila Ann Dunn in 57:14.

In total 233 of you (21 freshest of fresh faces) brought along varying degrees of sparkles and brightness, a kaleidoscopic menagerie of running colour on show, wonderfully reflective of the weekends night sky. There was only the odd exception with Helen somehow confusing sparkly and colourful with mid 80's Milk Tray man. Easy mistake to make. Forrest Gump even rocked up with a beard of such tremendous bush that he was perhaps already 18 months or so into his run.

On this milestone of a day we celebrated:

Will Rhodes' 10th

Alex Hall and Simon Gore's 25th volunteering stint (making it all possible)

Andrew brown & Patrick Boyle's 50th

Elley Hamer's 50th (she was badged but would like me to point out it was her 50th parkrun and, whilst appreciative of the birthday wishes, it was not, nor anywhere close to, her 50th Birthday).

Neil 'The Stallion' Taylor's Century

Chris Rhodes' whopper of a 250th

19 runners also got to write their time in the sky with their PB sparklers

It's safe to say that without the volunteers that step up each week the KWP Parkrun plot would have gone the same way as Catesby's plot of 1605. Without, of course, the violent deaths (Fawkes was hung drawn and quartered and Catesby was shot dead during his last stand in Staffordshire only to then be exhumed, beheaded, and his head displayed outside the gates of Parliament). The few make it possible for the many. Don't be shy in stepping up and volunteering a few times a year. Enjoy the fireworks safely. Plot on.

Big Thumbs until the next time.

Sid

Chester Marathon 4th October 2022

I signed up for this with 13 days to go whilst suffering Equinox24 post event blues. 13 days is not long enough to recover from Equinox24 and prep for a marathon. With this in mind I decided to run in fancy dress, start from the back and see if I could overtake anybody. I also had in mind the fact I still wanted to raise £500 for The UTS Foundation and with UTS being just up the road it seemed right.

This is what it looks like starting a marathon in last place.

And this is the message you give to your pal who roped you in to the run!

Big thank you to Duane Roberts who got me there and back and was patient enough to wait for me to finish after pacing the 4hr runners to within a few seconds of 4 hours.

The very eagle eyed amongst you will note that I have a Pirate bandana wrapped around my arm. A Pirate pal of mine took his life recently and we had run a marathon together before as well as raced Outlaw together. Together in the loosest sense bearing in mind he finished about 5 hours ahead of me! Anyway, it seemed right to run with Hutch in my thoughts.

It was warm and up to 10 miles was all good. A few chatty runners keeping it interesting and a game of trading places with Dotty's Trotters.  After 10 miles things started to slow down as the lack of fitness began to take it's toll. When the 5 hour pacers went past the wheels came off. I struggled massively around 18/19 miles as the mental strength just wasn't enough. With 20 miles done and 6 to go I caught up with a puking runner. She was having a torrid time trying to even keep water down. We established a fairly consistent run/walk strategy which got us through the next 4 miles. Once back on the outskirts of the town centre and with Rebecca over the worst of her sickness, I trotted on a little and got the last bit done with company from a fellow Outlaw, Paul Davey of Wakefield Tri. Without the pair of them the last 6 miles would have been miserable as sin. Both finished in relatively good spirits just behind me.   

This sprint finish lacked any real sprint. The tale of the tape showed 2404 runners starting. I started last. 2360 finished and I was 2264th in 5:35:07. That's a 4.97% overtake success rate. The rapidity with which things disintegrated is shown in the splits:

6.2 miles 1:07 10:52 pace

12.4 miles 1:12 11:41 pace

18.6 miles 1:24 13:36 pace

24.8 miles 1:33 14:59 pace

1.4 miles 17:13 12:36 pace

Colin Robertson, the inspiration behind the good work of The UTS Foundation was at the finish to cheers me in. Everything was made worthwhile from a selfish point of view because of the ace hoody he gifted me but, more importantly, my fundraising passed target and completed a total of my original £1000 goal of 3 years ago. 

No medal or t-shirt for this one as I picked the 'green' option when entering apparently. Target hit so I was happy. I would say a lesson was learned in that a marathon will always find you out however, I knew that already!

KWP Parkrun #399 Race Report

As everyone lined up this morning on the 399th KWP Parkrun start line it couldn't be ignored that on this eve of the eve of All Hallows Eve the week's news has been focused on the latest blood sucking vampire to ingratiate himself at No10.

Sunak's American influence cannot be ignored and it's perhaps prophetic as this island nation embraces the American tradition of dressing up as the Devil with a view of wandering the streets taking food and money from people.

It was quite a scary sight to see Devils, fallen angels, pumpkins, dog pumpkins, ghosts, ghouls, zombies, monsters and other assorted scary folk on the course. Some had even dressed up.

Almost as frightening was the pace with which Ryan Preece smashed the win, Alexander Haywood fastest youth and Meg Griffiths fastest woman. Scarier still the determination with which Michael Ball and Sharon Whitehead got the job done.

A ditty popped into my head as I did my best to encourage 215 of you around the course. I might speak to a record producer as I think it could be a hit.

"Nine in the morning

Something evil's lurking in the park

Out of the lake mist

You see a sight that almost stops your heart

You try to scream

On realising that you have to run two laps

You start to freeze

As Benham looks you right between the eyes

You're paralyzed

'Cause this is Kingsbur-ry Parkrun

And no one's gonna save you

From the mud throughout the run

You know it's Kingsbur-ry Parkrun

You're overtaking runners left right and centre, faster, ow

You're gonna run through the wood

Puddles formed along the route

The Big Thumbs sign is close at hand

Your thighs scream for you to stop

Get it done even if you hop (you're gonna feel it tonight)

And whosoever shall be found

Lacking the strength to get around

Must stand and face the tail walkers

Inspiring and expert talkers

They'll get you to the finish

The foulest stench is in the air

The funk of 430 pairs

As reps of twenty four different clubs

Are closing in on new PB's (oh, yeah)

As you fight towards the line

Your body starts to shiver

For no mere mortal can resist

The finishing sprint thriller

'Cause this is Kinsbur-ry Parkrun

You're gonna get muddy and there's no point in dodging puddles

Kingsbur-ry Parkrun

You're fighting to the line and it's a killer, thriller"

In all 215 of you completed the course today, 34 of you were newbies, 27 volunteers made it possible, 11 personal bests displayed in finisher texts and 24 clubs represented. I'm not one for conspiracies but if you add the number of clubs to the number of PB's and multiply the total by number of volunteers and then deduct the number of runners and the number of newbies and the cost of a round of coffees in the cafe afterwards and then add the number of unknowns finishing today it totals 666! Happy eve of eve of All Hallows Eve. Sleep well.